CANCER and The Decision

You gasp!  "REALLY! He posted a picture of a farmer preparing to butcher a couple of hogs!!"

YES.  I DID!!  Why?  Two reasons:  ONE, I am pissed as heck at cancer and its lack of a cure and the medical profession and everything that has to do with cancer and treatment.  And TWO, for medical purposes.  Keep reading.

I had more graphic pictures with blood and gore and knives and even masks, but they were copyrighted and undownloadable.  So your eyes are lucky.  This is a tame hog-butchering picture.

The past week or so, I have come to the conclusion that DEATH IS THE ONLY CURE for cancer.  And that the millions and more "natural cures" for cancer are all bunk and crap.  That includes eating a TON of veggies every day.  Trust me.  I have tested most all of them myself.  I have myriad of books on natural cures for cancer.  "Take this and live!"  NONE OF IT WORKS!  In fact, while most are well-meaning and sincere, some are outright scams.  I have tried just about all of them and yet my sausage-size tumor just keeps expanding itself.  Even a slowing of the growth rate DID NOT HAPPEN.

This morning I THREW OUT all of my cancer natural cure books.  (Actually I put them in the "take to Goodwill" pile with some old shoes, an old frying pan, and some torn shirts.)  I'm going back to reading Grisham.

In church Sunday, this sweet, loving, very sincere couple that are great friends of ours and have been through a lot of the same crap in life that we have been, offered me yet another book which allegedly contains the natural cure to cancer.  I cried.  I'm so DISCOURAGED with reading books, getting my hope up, and then having it not happen.  It doesn't happen.  A lot of books have been sold.  A lot of cancer has NOT been cured.  I cried.  In frustration and anger.  If only there were a simple "Change your Diet and Live" cure that worked!

Medical Pot (or Marijuana or Cannabis or Hemp or whatever you want to call it as some folks seem to be really really touchy about what it is called) is the worst.  I have had no less than three dozen of my good friends coax me to try using various forms of pot because pot kills cancer cells.  I almost believed it.  They were sincere.  These are people who actually love me and are concerned about me.  Some were even going to GIVE ME the pot FOR FREE just so I would be cured.

I polled 11,453 prostate cancer warriors and asked "have any of you been cured by medical marijuana or even know anyone personally who has been cured by it?"  Out of the 11,453, there were two who said they "knew someone".  But neither could produce a name and phone number so I could talk to that person.  One later admitted that it was a person who took medical treatment along with pot and was in remission.  Not actually cured and not actually known if the pot had anything to do with it.  So, out of 11,453 actual cancer victims, NOT ONE had been cured by pot.  And believe me, a lot of them had tried it!

Most famous of all pot cures is Rick Simpson Oil (RSO).  Surprisingly, dozens of of the 11,453 had tried it.  It had not worked for even one of them.  Some called is snake oil.  Some called it the biggest rip off ever.  Some claimed the chemicals used to extract the oil actually made their cancer worse.

Saddest of all of the RSO stories was a sobbing widow who said her husband refused medical treatment to opt for RSO and after spending of $50,000 on the stuff (obviously not covered by insurance), HE DIED.

The final clincher was that I actually walked into one of Spokane's many pot shops and talked to the guy behind the counter.  Here is a guy who has probably used pot since before it was legal.  Here is a guy who wants me to spend my money on his product.  A salesman.  Yet........    I asked him bluntly "does your product cure cancer?"  His response?  The hugest belly laugh ever!  And then "No!  But if you take enough, you will forget you ever had cancer!"  And then he recommended that I also stop and get some Doritos on the way home.  I appreciated his honesty.  Not that the other promoters of "it kills cancer cells" are dishonest.  Most truly believe that it does.  But it does not.

Let me make this clear.  POT DOES NOT CURE CANCER. And I am no longer taking recommendations on that matter.

I am not crazy.  I do realize pot has its medicinal values, some of which are good to help with the side effects of cancer treatment.  Pain relief.  Helps you sleep.  Makes you feel good.  I do not judge you if you use it.  Many do.  But it does not cure cancer.

And if you are now yelling in your head "he singled me out in his blog!!!"  Don't flatter yourself.  Remember that no less than 36 of you all have pushed pot at me.  And at least a dozen of those mentioned RSO specifically.  You are NOT the only one.  And I still love you all.  You want to help.  You believe in it.  And I get and appreciate that.

But.....if I wait for the natural cures to work, I WILL DIE A YOUNG MAN.

As such, I have no choice but to rely on medical treatment at this point.  And now I will diss on them too, because I am freakin angry at my situation and I have that right to.  THEY do NOT have a cure either.  There is no cure for cancer.  That really should say "their is no cure for CANCERS", plural.  There are literally thousands of types of cancers, all different.  Over the past five months, I have been poked, stabbed, photographed, sedated and more in a huge medical attempt to find out just what kind of Prostate Cancer I have so the proper treatment can be administered.  So finding a cure for "cancer" is not going to happen.  Finding a cure for a "certain type of cancer" may happen some day, but so far, after zillions of dollars and efforts, that has not happened.

All we have are treatments to zap it, slow it down, remove part of it, etc.  But none of them are 100% effective.  And most of the treatments are invasive, antiquated, and barbaric.  That doesn't help my mood today.

Now, don't get me wrong.  My personal Doctors are amazing.  I have visited with my General Practitioner, Spokane's most renowned and referred Urologist, a second Urologist who is also an Oncologist, and yesterday with a Radiologist.  They are all awesome and incredible.  They passionately believe in what they can do.  The Doctor we visited yesterday took 90 minutes with us to explain the type of cancer I have, the various treatments that would be appropriate for it, and to listen to our concerns.  All that even though she likely knew that we had already decided not to do radiation at this point and were just there to be educated.  Incredible Doctors!

Let me run through the various treatment options we get to decide amongst.......

RADICAL PROSTATECTOMY :  This is by far the most popular treatment from what I can tell.  Frankly, I picture a hog being butchered every time I think of this procedure.  (Oh yes.....reason two for that picture of the hanging hog).  They hang you almost upside down by your knees (this is so gravity pulls your inards away from the prostate thus giving the surgeon more room to work), they slice up to seven holes in your abdomen, then a robot (named Da Vinci) inserts its arms into you and at the direction of the surgeon, it removes the prostate, cancer and all.  Usually 4-6 hours.  Don't get me wrong, most feel this procedure has a high success rate.  But I also see very often that the cancer comes back later.  The stats say that it only improves a person's life expectancy by 5%.  It is expensive ($120,000+) and I believe that is only the surgeon's share.  Side effects include incontinency, impotency, severe fatigue, wearing a catheter for weeks afterwards, and those are only the ones they tell you about.  I have met men who talk of needing shoulder muscle therapy due to their arms hanging upside down for that long, loss of blood during procedure (3 pints worth), multiple surgeries to correct issues with the first one, and not being able to go back to work for months.  Most of them, when I ask if they have regrets or if they would do it again, say, after pausing for up to ten seconds (the most tell-tale sign of all) "no regrets.  I don't have cancer."  And they must also not like sex and must not mind peeing on themselves when they stand up.  All of my doctors have somewhat recommended this treatment, even the Radiologist.  You can obviously see how I feel about it.

RADIATION:  This is also popular.  It appears to have a high rate of removing cancer cells, although many times, years later, they do reappear.  The procedure is mostly painless.  Also the most expensive of all.  (CybeKnife comes in at around $150,000).  Complications include urinary issues, guaranteed impotency for two years. And the kicker.......it causes cancer.  Your chances of coming down with ANOTHER kind of cancer later on increases.  Further, scar tissue from radiation makes it impossible for a lot of other treatment options if the cancer happens to come back.  (Especially surgery).

HORMONE THERAPY:  aka Chemical Castration.  There apparently are some prostate cancers that are immune from this therapy (they actually call it "castration resistant cancer"), but in MOST cases, removing all sources of testosterone causes the cancer to stop spreading.  Testosterone feeds it.  And now when folks ask me what causes prostate cancer, I say "testosterone."  The men gasp and get this look of fear.  We all have it!  But it is true folks, and is why it is the most common cancer among men.  And you thought it was the BBQ ribs and french fries.........  Hormone Therapy is given via injection.  Side effects include severe fatigue, loss of muscle mass, man boobs, loss of metabolism and thus weight gain, depression, loss of motivation, loss of sense of competition, complete loss of libido, and hot flashes.  I met a guy who no longer can stand football now and instead watches the Hallmark Channel.  Horrible.  But apparently very effective.  All of my doctors emphatically told me NOT to choose this treatment.

CHEMOTHERAPY:  For prostate cancer, this is usually only used in cases of really advanced cancer, so I haven't really even looked at it.  But trust me, I could diss on it as well as I have the others if I wanted to.

CRYOTHERAPY:  This procedure entails the doctor inserting a probe into the Prostate and literally FREEZING the cancer cells until they die.  He can hit just the tumor itself (called "Focal" therapy) or the entire prostate.  90 minute procedure.  Most are back to work the next day or so.  Catheter for a few days.  Impotence is an issue unless the doc does "Focal Therapy" and stays away from the "nerve bundles".  Down side is that there is a fear that it sometimes doesn't get everything and more procedures are later needed.  But, if that happens, Cryotherapy or any other procedure is still an option.  No doors are closed.  Also, it is rather new and there is no long-term data on success rates yet.

HIFU:  Which stands for High Intensity Focused Ultrasound.  It is the same as Cryotherapy, except it uses ultrasound waves to create heat and thus BURNS the cancer cells until they die.  It is newer than Cryotherapy and not approved by the FDA unless you get into a clinical trial, which appear to be available everywhere.

As accountants, we have made charts and graphs, lists of pros and cons on the above as well as have spent a huge amount of time in research, interviewing cancer patients, and praying.  And the conclusion is:  <DRUM ROLL SOUND HERE>  Focal Cryotherapy.  We'll kill it with an ice ball.  And then watch it for years going forward via MRI and biopsies (if needed).  Our Doc is very experienced in these and fellowshipped at MD Anderson Cancer Clinic in Houston, the leader in the nation (perhaps the world) in cancer treatment.  I will call to start the ball rolling this afternoon.

DIE CANCER CELLS DIE!!!

Now let me say that while Veggies and my diet change has not killed cancer cells, it has made me feel better and stronger and I have lost weight.  We're keeping the diet.  A healthy body is a good thing and being strong will help me to survive the impact of the cancer treatments.  And I will continue with other natural supplements that are helping me too.

ANGER!  It comes out often in the world of cancer.  For the past five weeks, we have somewhat put our lives on hold and researched to find the cure for cancer.  And there is none.  Only medical procedures that are invasive and that can knock the cancer back for a while, maybe even years.  And natural remedies that make you feel good.  So.........ANGER!!

Am I still angry at God?

Interestingly enough, while in the Portland Temple a couple of weeks ago, I had a "Come to Jesus" talk with God.  (Does that even make sense??)  And what He did was remind me that I chose cancer as a life challenge in a prior life!  (If you are a member of my religion, you know exactly what I am talking about.  And some of you may want to argue about the "choosing your challenge" as not being doctrinally correct.  Given my mood today, it would not be a good day to argue with me.  And those of you not of my religion may now think that I believe in reincarnation.  Not true.  However, I give you the freedom to think and believe whatever you want.)

So, I stood in the addiction line, then the divorce line, then the "raise a kid that will kill himself" line.  I knew that all along and believed that.  So yup, after all that, I also went and stood in the freakin' cancer line.

WHY?  Because I am a Warrior and I knew it would make me even stronger.  And it would change the lives of people as they watched me get through it and not give up.  Which I know I will.

Anger is not a bad thing.  (And thanks for letting me spew).  It motivates me to action.  It brings out the warrior.  And now that the treatment option has been chosen, after five grueling months of testing, research, praying, and stress, I can focus on it and DO BATTLE WITH THIS CANCER!

So, dear Blogees, WATCH ME DO BATTLE!

"... and thus we did go forth with all our might" - Helaman