My Life With Cancer

OK Guys.  I'm trying to get pumped up.  I'm trying to put on my game face.  Eye of the Tiger.  Right? I can't do it.  Oh, I AM pumped up.  I'm totally ready to have this cancer gone.  But game face?  If you have even spent a few moments around me, you know I'm never serious.  And even when I am, you can't tell that I am.  So, I can't do a game face without grinning.  And that looks ridiculous.  But I did my best in these selfies. The next few blogs will feature pictures of..........ME!  You will watch me fight like heck to beat this cancer.  Then you can follow my fine example and fight whatever YOUR battle is.  (Hopefully it ain't cancer). Pregame warm up was last Thursday's visit to the friendly confines of Sacred Heart Medical Center.  Last time I was here, it was to watch a relative take her last breath.  I plan to change THAT tide. Before the doctor and his team and especially the anesthe...

From the beginning, I decided to be really open about my cancer.  And to write a blog about my experiences. The blog has several purposes.  One, it is very therapeutic for me.  Next, to help others who struggle with whatever.  And third, to keep everyone informed as to how I am doing. Today's blog likely will not sound very supportive.  It is for purely self-therapeutic purposes.  And to keep distant friends and relatives aware that I am still alive. Guys, CANCER SUCKS.  It is literally kicking my ass emotionally.  (I'll repent soon for swearing, so get over it.) I visited my brother a couple of weeks ago.  He said, as a lot of people have, "you look great, how's your health?"  That's the trick.  Prostate cancer really has no visible symptoms.  Not until it is very advanced and in the process of taking your life, having spread to all areas of your body.  At that point the pain is excruciating and the symptoms obvio...

This is a horse. This is my Urologist/Oncologist. Seriously.  It is an actual picture of him.  I stole it from his website.  I'm trying to figure out if he'll be honored or offended that I used his actual picture in my blog. This is a doctor riding a horse. Perhaps you are beginning to see where this is going. (I doubt she is a Urologist....) This is some poor soul falling off a horse. This is a picture of what an X-ray of broken ribs looks like. I believe they said he had a punctured lung too.  Yikes!! This was supposed to be "kill my cancer week."  A huge celebration of the freezing to death of my sausage-sized cancer tumor was planned, although it involved a catheter.  And, I'm a GREAT planner, this was to take place during CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!!  Cancer awareness, my @##.  Cancer GONE month. But, somehow someone mixed a doctor and a horse together and got broken ribs........so the procedure has been dela...

We all have been blessed with a "cross to bear".  The story goes of a man who was overwhelmed with his respective cross. "Master, please give me a smaller cross!" he pleaded to Jesus.  "I can no longer carry this one!  It is too way too much for me!" The gracious Master finally relented and took his cross from him.  He invited the man into the Master's storage room of crosses to select a new cross, perhaps one more to his liking. The man studied the various crosses carefully.  Some were small and some were HUGE.  Finally his eyes found the perfect cross for him, a very tiny and dainty cross sitting solemnly on a corner shelf. "Master!  Master! I have found the cross I want.  It is this one here in the corner!" The Master nodded his head slowly.  "I am sorry, but that is the cross you gave back to me.........." I am grateful that my cross is no larger than what it is.  As heavy as its burden is, I easily realize tha...

People keep asking how I'm doing.  That's really cool.  I feel loved.  And I'm really open about this whole cancer thing, so I have no problem sharing about it.  And reporting how I'm doing. So how am I doing? GREAT!  I'm doing great! I've been under General Anesthesia several times during my life.  Each time that I woke up, I was extremely happy and felt like I had been resting for days.  I was ready to go.  But when I came out of it during my recent targeted biopsy, I was pissed.  Really pissed.  I was doing all I could to not snap at the nurses.  I did not like waking up in a hospital.  And with cancer.  I was real pissed. While laying there in my pissed off groggy state, I felt the presence of both my son and my mother, who passed on before me.  I couldn't tell if they were there to take me with them or to comfort me.  I assumed it was the latter because most cancer patients don't die from a biops...

You gasp!  "REALLY! He posted a picture of a farmer preparing to butcher a couple of hogs!!" YES.  I DID!!  Why?  Two reasons:  ONE, I am pissed as heck at cancer and its lack of a cure and the medical profession and everything that has to do with cancer and treatment.  And TWO, for medical purposes.  Keep reading. I had more graphic pictures with blood and gore and knives and even masks, but they were copyrighted and undownloadable.  So your eyes are lucky.  This is a tame hog-butchering picture. The past week or so, I have come to the conclusion that DEATH IS THE ONLY CURE for cancer.  And that the millions and more "natural cures" for cancer are all bunk and crap.  That includes eating a TON of veggies every day.  Trust me.  I have tested most all of them myself.  I have myriad of books on natural cures for cancer.  "Take this and live!"  NONE OF IT WORKS!  In fact, while most are well-meani...

Pretty kind of, aren't they?  That is a microscopic picture of cancer cells.  Not mine, but some other poor individual's. This may shock you, but everyone has cancer cells.  Yes, everyone.  Some may mutate into death cells that have the goal of taking over every healthy cell in a body.  Most will not.  Mine have decided to attack. The past few weeks, I have learned a lot about cancer.  Like the above fact.  Cancer is part of all of us. I also have learned and am convinced now that the only real cure to cancer is..........DEATH.  The only cure to cancer is death.  There are myriad treatments, potions, drugs one can take to "battle cancer", but none of them "cure it."  They may knock it into submission or they may make it disappear for a while, but it always comes back.  Always.  Some cancers sooner than others.  And many folks may pass on from other causes before it comes back with the assumption that they sur...